Local Articles
As published in the Press Sentinel 2009
Prevent Child Sexual Abuse By Susan Platt
I have a difficult topic to write about--prevention of child sexual abuse. Uncomfortable yet? Child sexual abuse occurs when an adult or older child crosses boundaries with a young child with sexual touch or non-touch behaviors. Statistically, sexual abuse occurs in one in five girls and one in seven boys before the age of 18.
We may feel uneasy when we see a passing touch or inappropriate playfulness or hear sexual comments by an adult about a child or notice a situation that goes beyond 'normal.' We don¹t know what to do about what we just saw or heard or 'felt in our gut.' Was it really normal? Was it OK?
We tend to pass it off with some statements. "It's really none of my business." "The person will get angry if I accuse them of something I'm not sure is happening." We back off. We tend to try to ignore what we saw or heard. It is too uncomfortable. Yet, it is the responsibility of all adults to prevent child sexual abuse. If we take a few steps, we may make a difference in a child's life.
1) Trust your gut. You are reacting to something that didn't register as 'normal' to you. Don't ignore it. Think about what you noticed. Is the person you noticed:
--An adult or older child who spends most of his/her spare time with a younger child and has little interest in spending time with people his/her own age? --An adult or older child who manages to get time alone or insists on uninterrupted time alone with a child?
--Someone who frequently walks in on children/teens in the bathroom?
--Someone who makes fun of a child's body parts and/or calls a child sexual names?
2) Learn more. Learn about healthy personal boundaries. Find out healthy sexual development for children. Learn what are 'green-light' (normal) sexual behaviors for the ages (normal). What are 'yellow-light' (questionable) sexual behaviors/situations? What are 'red-light' (action needed) signs of sexual abuse? What light symbol would you give these situations?
--A 9-month old plays with his private body parts.
--Four-year-olds touch each others' private parts while bathing together.
--A 17-year-old girl insists on giving her 10-year-old brother a bath.
3) Begin a journal. Write down what you noticed, heard or saw, even if it 'seems like nothing.' Note the when, where, who if the incident.
4) Find an ally. Try to find someone else who knows the person whose actions are coming into question. Someone else may also share your concerns. If you hear "mind your own business" or "don't start trouble," the speaker may be concerned also but may be very uncomfortable. Don't give up your concerns. Try to find someone else. You may speak with a counselor or a pastor. You may call 1-800-CHILDREN to talk with a professional on the child-abuse hotline.
5) Think about what you want to say to the person whose actions are being questioned. What messages do you want to get across? How can you let the person know you care about him/her? Call 1-800-CHILDREN to get some ideas about how to talk to the person.
6) Practice what you want to say out loud. You can practice by yourself, but it will help to say the words to someone else.
7) Choose a time and place to talk. Think about a place that is safe, comfortable and relatively private. Ask the person whether he or she can meet with you.
Several members of Prevent Child Abuse-Wayne (PCA-Wayne) are conducting a 'Let's Talk' session at the Wayne County Public Library on Thursday, Oct. 15, at 6 p.m. We will be using materials from STOP IT NOW! Georgia, the Campaign to Prevent Child Sexual Abuse. We want to help adults in our community to take steps to keep our children safe from sexual abuse. Please come to learn more and to discuss any concerns. For further information, e-mail pcawayne@waynehelp.com or call a program presenter at (912) 424-9757.